It's affecting my spelling!

I saw her on the corner when I awoke one morning. She just appeared out of nowhere. Her skin was sleek and smooth. Her curves, perfect. I wondered who she was or when she arrived. But I knew... oh yes, I knew. I knew she was something special. And I knew she would be mine.

I walked outside to see if anyone else noticed her. I saw a man who looked like he knew something about her. I inquired about where she came from. He said he just dropped her off and she'll be ready in a few weeks. Ready, you say? Hmmmm. He went on to explain that she was the fastest thing you ever experienced. Ready and fast? Oooh, I was starting to like this one.

She stayed there all day, not making a sound. the only movement I saw was her sway from the occasional breeze that came through. Strands of her beautiful, glistening extensions seemed to almost wave in my direction, as if beckoning to come for a closer look. But I was apprehensive. What if I could not afford her goods?  I would not want to get attached only to find my love could not be quenched. 

I talked to the man once more. He mentioned how cheap she was to use. I knew then, she was within my grasp. Days went by, and I lust for her ever the more. I glanced out my window every 5 minutes it seemed. Becoming obsessive. I read of other peoples experiences with her, and I was excited. I couldn't bear it any longer. But I knew she wouldn't give herself to me until she was ready. I could plug in, but nary an emotion would be felt. None, besides sadness and despair of course.

And so I await the arrival of Fiber Optic Internet. My true love! Broadband is my prostitute. I will have her soon enough. Only $45 a month too! 15Mb down, 2Mb up. Hellz yeah.