Ok, we all know pirates are cooler than ninjas. But no one has really went into detail as to why. Most people screw up their face, stutter a bit and then end this horrible expressional ballet with a simple and very anti-climatic "they just are!".
Right. Silly people.
I will explain to you why pirates are, in fact, cooler than said ninjas:
I. The Gist(noun. syn. basis, bearing, bottom line, burden, core, drift, essence, force, heart, idea, import, kernel, keynote, marrow, etc.)
-Ninjas: Cool. Calm. Collected. They live in silence, are usually well-manered, and will annoy the hell out of you with their overwhelming silence. They will refrain from any acts of barbaric brutality, unless of course it will make them look cool with use of various camera techniques. They have a knack for the theatrical; to sneak up on you all sneaky-like.
-Pirates: Pillage. Plunder. Portside. They live for the very essence of crudeness. They WILL get their way, whether you like it or not. I can garuntee you won't. Loud and brash, Johnny Q Pirate is blunt and to the point. Never will he say excuse me lest it be in mockery of sorts. Unlike the ninja, the pirate undulges in barbaric brutality; the camera techiniques are just an added bonus. As with the ninja, the pirate has a knack for the theatrical, albeit swinging from ropes, walking planks, or even swashbucklling high ranking enforcement officials while drunk and winning.
There. I've done what most other people vocally stumble over. The above explanation is fact. Opinions aren't allowed in this blog. If you have a conflicting opinion with the aforementioned fact, please do not comment, for it will do you no good.
EDIT: A couple people have gotten ahold of me by other means and have brought to my attention that one could not comment even if they wanted to. I thought the message in the above paragraph was conveyed well enough to forego further translation...
